In business as in love, the “Friends with Benefits” arrangement sounds ideal. You just set up a little somethin’ somethin’ on the side without setting any expectations. It’s added excitement without additional overhead. No commitment. In theory, it sounds perfect.
In reality, the FwB thing rarely works out. Sure, it starts out great – you get together once a week, mess around a little bit, talk about how clever you both are, etc. Unfortunately, as time goes on things go wrong. Someone gets hooked, gets jealous, feels neglected, and then things get awkward.
It doesn’t have to be that way, at least not in business. The following are five things to keep in mind when setting up a Friends With Business Benefits relationship:
1. Begin with the end in mind
Always go into an FwB relationship with an exit strategy. Better yet, establish clear guidelines for dissolution (or advancement) of the relationship before you get started. That way, you both can have fun without anyone feeling trapped.
2. Conduct a thorough background check
Before you jump in bed with someone, even if it’s just a side thing, you need to find out a little bit about his/her partnership history. Is this someone who can handle casual business? Do they flip out easily? Do they get too attached? Do they claim to keep all activities on the down-low then immediately tell friends (or worse, Facebook friends)?
3. Ask yourself if you’re willing to lose the relationship
Once you add benefits to a friendship, the relationship will never be the same. Maybe it will be better, maybe it will be worse, but it will never be the way it was. Thus, you need to be ok with the idea of losing your current friendship.
4. Don’t Cheat
Are you contractually obligated to be faithful to your job? Does your FwB relationship threaten the foundation of your career? If the answer is “yes”, you need to be aware that your initiation/participation in said relationship qualifies you as a shady person.
5. Be Patient
This is far and away my biggest opportunity for improvement (see: problem) when it comes to Friends with Business Benefits. I like to act on ideas quickly and I have a tendency to swarm my partners. I am also really anal about deadlines. If someone tells me that they're going to get something done by Tuesday and I haven’t heard anything Wednesday morning, I get frustrated. In a primary relationship my impatience would be justified, but in a casual FwB scenario, increased patience and perspective are both required.
Friends With Business Benefits can be a lot of fun. You can experiment in a casual environment and sharpen your skills. Sometimes FwB situations can even evolve into real startups and/or committed careers. Most of the time, however, FwB relationships crash and burn.
Before you hop in bed, make sure you take a second to think about both the possibilities and consequences of settin’ up a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ on the side.
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